The Sacrifice.
Both of us wanted the opportunity.
She won, I lost. I’m the youngest, therefore, I need to fit in a square in a circle.
While fountains and Luces splash its fiery tongue, while hundreds of festive colors fill the sky, the night failed to captivate me. The earbleeding noise diminished. The winds of change whirled away from me. My plans have been ruined. She wanted to study Nursing, despite her degree in BS Nutrition. My mom chose her. After two years, she could be a family asset – generating income for my studies.
I’ve been a well-bred bunso. I have learned the fact that I must respect their decision.
My plans are totally in pain. Blocks of dreams came rushing down, somehow blaming me for thinking about things that are not to come true. After four weeks, entrance exam results would soon flood my consciousness. With those results, I need to choose one.
I want to study in U.S.!
But then, I have to stay here, and study four more years in College.
My eyes were shrink-wrapped in tears, though I forced myself not to cry. I am slowly learning the fact that the wheel turns upside-down in a swish of a moment. The bloody realizations in life comes hand-in-hand with me last night. My world crumbles as the legendary New Year celebration unfolds. And the countdown begins:
Five. Five more years to spend studying in the Philippines. Of being an independent teenager, of making decisions. To buy a car, to rent a dorm, to choose between this and that. Five more years would be freedom from notebooks, and joining the workforce.
And, five more projects to do before school starts once again.
Four. Senior life, so far: is a one-of-a-kind achievement. Fourth year is the happiest, the most memorable, the kick-ass year of my High School life. I’m looking forward to enjoy the Intrams, the last Prom of my life, the Finals. The judgment day.
Three. Three more months before tossing myself to the skies, screaming and being proud of myself for getting my High School diploma. Three more months to cherish every face, every moment, every teacher I met in my four years of existence in High School. Three more months to reconstruct broken friendships, wasted time, and heal wounds of betrayal and anger.
Two. Two years and I’d be voting, getting a driver’s license, undergoing interviews and filling up forms to renew my Visa once again. Two more years.
One. One chance, one opportunity. Yet, I missed it. I am not destined to get it. I guess, I’ll just let it slip away like a paper swaying away from me. “Swim against the current, let it slip away.”
Boom.
Now, what’s happy in my New Year?
That you still have your limbs complete and intact.
you’re thinking too much. focus on the present and don’t mind about what’s coming. there’s a lot of surprises coming ahead of us.
I know what you’re feeling. Been there, done that. But don’t think too much of what’s going to happen. In one’s life, there are lots of good and bad situations. Some of those situations you have foreseen, but there are lots of “surprises” coming your way. Enjoy the ride of life.
And It’s a good thing that after more than a decade, God hasn’t decided to take the soul [your soul, I mean] out of your physical prison. Be thankful with that. Life is the most precious gift of all God has given us, so enjoy it before that “cease to exist” day comes. You won’t know when that day will come.
I believe that you can overcome the odds stacked upon you. Aja, bro!
Oh, I almost forgot…
Happy New Year!
Sa bagay, tama si Billycoy. Maybe if I’d let the chips fall where they may – life would be much better.
there comes a moment in everyone’s life… where everything seems to be soo not good… just look at the bright side..
Blessed New Year!
Everything happens for a reason. Don’t think about your plans and stuff, there are better things that will come your way.
happy new year!
sooner or later you will realize everything that is happening to you right now is for the greater good and soon chances will be goin’ at your side of the fence
happy new year, kevin! pag pumasa ka sa acet, you know what to do
sabi nga ni jose rizal, “the happiest days of my life.”
Haha, dave! Asa pa ko sa acet no!!
sana pumasa ka ng UP! maybe then you’ll realize studying here wouldnt be that bad at all.. good luck sa mga entrance exam results!
Hapi Nyo Yer!
ok…so, did we just talk about UP and now, i found post about the looming [and fucked up, at least for me] graduation and college?
sheesh, man. three months are all we, seniors, have to enjoy and fix up those mends. you don’t have to remind. haha.
ow, still i’m feeling shit cause of the big transition we’re all gonna be in in six months’ time. big boom=college.
haha. HAVE A WONDERFUL YEAR AHEAD.
KEVIN!
good luck sayo. un lang msabi ko xD
yies, i’m back!
tgal ko naring di nakakapagonline. tssk.
good luck sa results ng exams natin. shucks. nkkatkot tlga. i hope makapasa ako. hmm, di lang ako. tayo! lhat ng nagexam! haha.
happy new year. oops. well, you’ll be having one. don’t think na hindi happy ang new year mo. it’s not too late.
Well, at least try to learn something from this. That in any time and any place, someone can take something so precious, so great, something you love so much away from you. Sometimes, you get that thing back, and gain a second chance. Others aren’t lucky, and they lose it forever.
Try to be contented na lang.
And I think everything else will follow. 
Happy New Year! 
hmm. you’ll see. all will gonna turn out fine. I mean… you know… go with the flow. You’ve got wat it takes. I mean… I know you… no i dont know you. but, from the utakgago i met via blogging… I know… he could breakaway… and he’ll gonna do his thing.
just be it.
nice comment, Jochie!!! nakakatouch naman at medyo kilala mo na ako kahit sa blogging pa lamang. ayeeeee.
the whore – hope so.
sana nga maging maganda ang new year. hehe.