Yuletide.

Christmas air is here. The advent’s open, and like what Jessica Zafra said; this is the time for fake (styrofoam) snow to come out. This is December.

Years ago before I reached adolescence, all of us (barkada) would sing Christmas carols from house to house armed with our bikes. Our voices were still immature. Our intentions were still shallow. We wanted to earn money to play Playstation in the rental house. Silly reason, yet it fuels our mission. We’ll sing songs and, like beggars, would reach our palms before them and wait for their charity to come out. When the door opens, our hearts were at sky high.

Sa wakas, may panlaro na rin kami ng Playstation. Bente – isang oras.

Corruption? Ah-huh. The biggest sum of money we ever had was 140 pesos, if I could still recall. There’s this guy who gave us one hundred pesos. Then, we divided it into eight that makes it – nevermind. I hate Math.

Like I’ve said from my past blog, Christmas is for kids. They’ll be waiting into chimneys when in fact, its their parents who fool them as if there’s a real Santa or what. (And that there’s no chimney around here except in cold places like Baguio.) For me, that’s the biggest joke I’ve ever seen. And knowing that my sister believes in Santa made me cringe for a while. Kevin, totoo yun! Binigyan pa nga ako ng manika dati nun eh.

Not that I don’t believe in the essence of Christmas. I’ve grown tired of it. I wonder why ‘Santa’ refuse to give teens like me. Ooh, I remember the song!

“He sees you when you’re sleeping, he knows when you’re awake. He knows if you’ve been bad or good so be good for goodness sake.”

Too bad, I’m not the good boy anymore. So much for Santa’s authenticity, I’ve had the loneliest Christmas last year. Yes, and I don’t know why. All I remember was that I was chatting a DJ from LSFM by the time we were eating Noche Buena. Last year’s Christmas was lonely because I’ve received three or four gifts back then – it includes 10 briefs (from my stupid sister, thanks for the prank anyway), and some personal things.

For the past Christmas days, I am the star of the house. I would go beneath the Christmas tree and would happily look at the mound of gifts coming from known persons who touched my life. Being a kid is fun especially when Christmas. I could still remember the feeling of tearing off those wrappers, inch-by-inch I feast my eyes with gifts…

It’s not gonna happen anymore.

And I am disappointed.

For now, I won’t be wishing anything at all. Expecting something far-from-reality isn’t nice at all. And for the radio stations, I hope there would be no Christmas in Our Hearts by Jose Mari Chan. Please, don’t ruin my day.

~ by utakgago on December 3, 2006.